I'd rather be eating a burrito.

Have One On Me

2010-02-24T08:17:00.000-08:00

The new Joanna Newsom album is good, but it keeps making me want to watch this:

Liars: "Scissor"

2010-02-18T11:05:00.000-08:00

Andy Bruntel directed this video for Liars. It's awesome.

Video: Liars: "Scissor"

Vacation Day 3: Bear Republic

2009-08-10T13:28:00.001-07:00

Black Mamba and Racer X

Second Stop: Lagunitas

2009-08-09T21:23:00.000-07:00

First Stop: Russian River Brewery

2009-08-08T21:38:00.001-07:00

Round 1 (left to right): Sanctification, Perdition

Allagash Curieux @ El Prado

2009-08-04T21:47:00.000-07:00

2009-08-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

Deliciousness.

2009-08-02T20:39:00.001-07:00

2009-08-01T11:02:00.000-07:00

Better Boy

2009-07-30T10:31:00.001-07:00

Yellow Brandywine

2009-07-30T10:30:00.001-07:00

Cherokee Purple

2009-07-30T10:29:00.000-07:00

2009-07-23T14:12:00.002-07:00

2009-07-23T14:12:00.001-07:00

RSD '09

2009-04-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

Though this cautionary tale is not a all indicative of the treatment I received at Vacation on Record Store Day, it serves as an important reminder to all; ignore the ignore the indie record store staff and they will ignore you. Keep in mind, they're just as afraid of you as you are of them.

a couple of things

2009-03-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

Just a couple of things before the library opens this morning...

Thing the first; Sgt. Pepper's is an amazing album. A day in the life is awesome. All things considered, listening to this album right now reminds me of listening to Evol by Sonic Youth in high school, wondering why bands didn't make better albums/music. I still wonder that.

Thing the second; the new Merriweather Post Pavilion is not an amazing album. I don't know why it is garnering such high praise. It's predictable and soulless. Though I reserve the right to change this opinion, I don't see that happening.

There you have it. A couple of things. A couple means two.

Now I leave to get on with my day.

Today

2008-11-11T11:02:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I haven't written for a while. I've been busy. I'm still getting adjusted to being a student. The states in which my desk, car, room and hygiene are in sufficiently reflect this process of adjustment. Also my addled brain.

Good things about today:
The weather is really nice.
I had a good conversation with a professor regarding a memo I am writing.
I will be eating free Chipotle for lunch.
It's veteran's day and I feel proud of my family's service.
I have some good tunes in my head.
I went to a show last night, but I'm not really that tired.
I got free doughnuts this morning. (yes, plural)
I'm caught up on my homework.
I didn't miss my train this morning.
I got free coffee this morning.
I've got some plans and they seem feasible and enjoyable.

I'm sure there's more. Anyhow, suffice to say, I'm doing well despite the mental stress and strain. Actually, if you'd like to know all about what I'm studying, we should hang out. I don't actually recommend this for your sake, but I think that Jen would like a reprieve from the onslaught of legal jargon and hypothetical situations I am constantly foisting upon her during our brief periods of free time.

Lastly, note some of the new albums I've posted pics of on the right. They're really good. Especially Deerhunter. If you haven't listened to them yet/recently, you're really missing out...

Here are my top 5 favorite recent songs that I can think of right now:
1. Where Do You Run- Vivian Girls
2. Teabag Party- King Khan & BBQ
3. Walking With Jesus- The Muslims
4. Version- Om
5. Nothing Ever Happened- Deerhunter

I'm kind of hungry now.

2008-08-29T17:39:00.000-07:00

This was brought to my attention by my friend Jen. Not my wife Jen, but one of the many friends I have named Jennifer.

I looked up all of the items that I was not immediately familiar with just to be sure I had or had not eaten them. Some of these items I wish I had never tried, namely #s 33, 63 & 94. Some of these items I cannot wait to try, namely #s 43, 46, 59, 65, 83 & 97. Seriously, look up Lobster Thermidor on wikipedia. You will vomit and cry with excitement and hunger (respectively).

The Rules:
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears, funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

BBBQ

2008-08-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

I have now, more or less, successfully turned 29. In order to add to this success, Jen and I will be hosting a bbq at our house on Saturday, August 30th. Bring some beer and a camp/lawn/beach chair (if you're planning on sitting) and we'll see you around 3! Leave a comment if you need any further instructions/direction/information.

Legally Extreme!

2008-08-12T10:32:00.000-07:00

Does this mean that I'll have to take PE in law school?

My moustache

2008-07-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

Just like Darren, I too have grown a moustache! Check out the picture below, which I just took today!

salon 5

2008-07-07T21:22:00.000-07:00

Do I make you hungry?

2008-07-03T14:49:00.001-07:00

This weekend!

2008-06-03T19:10:00.001-07:00

This will be going down at the Patterson residence around 3pm this Saturday. Bring snacks, drinks and camping chairs. We hope to see you there!

2008-04-20T20:17:00.000-07:00

So Jen and I traveled publicly through LA today. We stopped at Philippe's for some sandwiches and beer, and we ended up at the Richard Riordan Memorial Library to watch a little band I like to call No Age play for free.

Alas, we didn't get into the show. Sad. Oh well. One of the more interesting aspects of the day was standing around a bunch of cheapskate hipsters (redundant or oxy-moron? I suppose it depends on what neighborhood they come from) while hoping that the security guards would flaunt the capacity laws and let us in. Lots of fun.

All this to say, we had an adventure in our enormous city today. It was fun, if slightly underwhelming. Good times.

Success!

2008-04-15T19:56:00.000-07:00

In general that is. I'm not aware of any great successes occurring in the recent past, present or recent future in my corner of this universe, but I like the ring of the word nonetheless.

Right now I am in the middle of online traffic school. It's funny because it is chock full of grammatical errors. For example, if I attempt to prematurely skip from the reading to the test I get a warning that lets me know "You must learn this topic at least 4 minutes!". I laugh, then I go check out some other internet nonsense for a little while. It's fun. On average I miss 1/2 a question on each test. It's really pretty easy. Good times.

I just got back from parent conferences and they went pretty well. Not too much to report on that subject so I'll move on.

For those that I haven't been able to talk to in person (or on the phone I suppose), I have been denied acceptance to two law schools: UC Hastings and the University of Washington; I've been waitlisted (a term that is new to me, and will most likely come to be synonymous with rejection in the near future) at two law schools: Fordham University and Loyola Law School; I have been accepted at one law school: Chapman; I am still waiting on two law schools: USC and UCLA. I am mad at the last two schools not because they haven't accepted me but because they haven't had the decency to send me a prompt rejection. I'm not putting on some humble front, I'm just being realistic. I would like to have all of my responses in as soon as possible so I can make a decision. USC and UCLA are such ridiculous long shots that I'm suspecting them of making me wait because they're pissed that I waisted their time with my application.

On a more positive note regarding my jump back in to academia, Jen and I were wined and dined by Chapman Law a couple of weekends ago. The school put us up in the Double Tree hotel in Orange and treated us to dinner, drinks and a cruise around Newport Harbor. It was sort of strange to be treated like a tourist only a handful of miles from the house you grew up in, but we had a wonderful time. I talked to a few students and professors and I sat through a class and several presentations. While Chapman was not my first choice, a very strong case was made in their favor. I have many more details, but they would take far too long to type. I'm sure that I'll tell you about them sooner or later.

Another topic that I've gone on and on about to people I've conversed with in person over the last couple of months is the LA Marathon. In order to keep things brief, I will just say that I ran it under 5 hours and it was horrible and amazing at the same time. It was an unbelievable experience. I will do it again.

That's all for now. I will not wait until I have to repeat online traffic school to post again. Or will I? I hope that everyone is well. Success!

SXSW

2008-03-17T12:25:00.000-07:00

I have just returned from one of the best and most strange and exciting and exhausting weekends of my life. I was at SXSW with my my very gracious pals in Bodies of Water. I will give a more in depth review and description in the near future, but right now I would rather be eating a burrito with Jen, since I haven't seen her in about a week. To hold you over till then, here's a list of the bands I saw play:

-Bodies of Water
-Bowerbirds
-J Mascis
-These New Puritans
-Peter Moren
-Times New Viking
-Phosphorescent
-Bon Iver
-Evangelicals
-Jens Lekman
-Black Mountain
-Le Loup
-Port O'Brien
-Antitem
-Atlas Sound
-Be Your Own Pet
-Thurston Moore
-N.E.R.D.
-F*** Buttons
-Delta Spirit
-Wooden Shjips
-Howlin' Rain
-Kevin Barnes
-Holy F***
-Yeasayer
-No Age
-Islands
-The Breeders
-Nadja
-Deadly Syndrome
-Eat Skull

I saw some bands twice. The vast majority of these shows were awesome and I was totally stoked to see them but there were a few that were seriously bad and made me want those moments of my life back. I'll leave you to guess which were which.

New Years Resolutions

2008-01-04T12:00:00.000-08:00

So I should probably make some resolutions. In the past I have frowned on this tradition because it seemed to impart some magical power to the changing of a calendar page and it inevitably led to depressing amounts of disappointment at my inability to follow through with whatever it is I resolved to do or not do. In an effort to avoid being stubborn and lazy and instead be more disciplined and responsible, I hereby declare the following five items to be my resolutions for 2008.

1. Exercise everyday.
This means everyday as in at least a half hour of something exercise oriented everyday. Maybe more.

2. Clean up after myself.
My car, my desk, my floor, my face, my dishes, the list goes on and on and on.

3. Make plans in advance.
I want to do things that will actually be great instead of being surprised when moderately good things happen out of nowhere. This also includes saving money for good stuff instead of wasting it on junk.

4. Drink less beer and eat less junk.
This is how people get fat and out of shape. I don't want to be those.

5. Read a lot more.
This is limited to books. This does not include the internet, magazines, newspapers, pamphlets, tracts, student work or random scraps of paper that I seem to accumulate, hoping to find something important within.

These may seem like nebulous resolutions, but I think that they are good and I will strive to see them through to, ummmm, errrr, completion? Do these have an end? We'll see.

The Ten Best Albums That Were Released Last Year (2007) That I Actually Listened To (With Commentary)

2008-01-01T14:03:00.000-08:00

Here's what I would have recommended that you listen to if I had talked to you last year. Now that it's 2008, I would still recommend these albums to you because they are all that good. Therefore, having the perspective that can only result from the arrival of a new year, I present these albums. Listen to them. Just not here, sorry.

1. No Age - Weirdo Rippers
This album receives the negligibly coveted number one spot because it was by far the most captivating, fascinating, exhilarating collection of sounds that I enjoyed last year. Everything from the low-fi production and blink-of-an-eye track lengths to the blissed-out noisescapes and head-smashing drums created an aural environment that was at once meditative and hysterical. This album reflects the 90s not necessarily in inspiration or reference as much as in osmotic revelation. Punk-rock DIY footloosery so thickly covers each song, one is left guessing whether or not this duo has ever heard any of the important/serious/grandiose indie rock of this new century. This album is a must have for anyone ever.

2. Deerhunter - Cryptograms/Flourescent Grey
These two releases are presented here as one because that is how they were packaged on vinyl. This album is amazing. I probably listened to this more than any other album. Every listen revealed new layers to these dense songs depending on my mood or the environment I was listening in. The driving bass lines, a vocal loop, a cymbal roll or just the subtle way the sound has shifted from ambient guitar drone to full-speed freak-out would keep me playing this album over and over. Mind blowing. Don't even ask, just buy it.

3. Jens Lekman - Night Falls Over Kortedala
I was very opposed to this album when I first heard it but I have since come around on it. Each song seemed a little off. A sample here and a chorus there all bugged me. My solution was to listen to it on repeat during our northwestern trip this summer. Actually, this was really Jen's solution seeing as she's a huge fan and totally dug the album. All this to say, I came to love it. Jens' melodies and arrangements soar with a tongue in cheek confidence. It's like that Sufjan dude only I don't feel guilty for not thinking hard enough about each line and Jens totally goes for the karaoke-god crooner vocals. There is something so sickeningly sweet about his songs that keeps me coming back, just like a whole thing of candybeans. This record is a whole things of candybeans.

4. Panda Bear - Person Pitch
This album blends the bizarro world of all those Animal Collective dudes with the bizarro world of all those Beach Boys dudes. If you've already read this assessment elsewhere, sorry but it's true. What other people won't tell you, however, is this album is way better than the new Animal Collective album. Seriously better. The thick gauzy layers of lush harmonies will coat your insides (through your ear holes, of course) with warm, delicious goodness. Play it soft or loud, it will elevate your soul.

5. Magik Markers - Boss
Maybe I lose some scene points for listing this "straight" Magik Markers record instead of just complaining about how they used to be cool, but I don't care. This record is a definite departure from their numerous earlier recordings, but so what. This record demonstrates that in addition to destroying your brain with noise, Elisa and Pete can also write great songs. These songs (with a couple of exceptions) definitely reflect the past in their emotions, themes and instrumentation but they focus these elements in a way that makes them more identifiable and gives them a greater impact. That this album was produced by Lee Ranaldo and released on Thurston Moore's Ecstatic Peace label should come as no surprise to those who hear it. Some may hear echoes of Chan Marshall, but I think she's too busy competing with Feist for the hearts of the NPR crowd to come up with something this good.

6. White Stripes - Icky Thump
Is this the best White Stripes album? Who knows. I love this album. It's a White Stripes album and therefore it's going to be at least 75% awesome. This is probably more than 75%, but I don't really keep track any more. This album is great and you've probably already made up your mind on it. My vote is "yes". That's all.

7. Om - Pilgrimage
This is not an album for the faint of heart. Although the first track can gently put a baby to sleep (hahahaha, sleep?! get it?!), the epiphany of the second track will wake up said baby like a nuclear bomb. Totally heavy without always being heavy. Om continue their journey onward and upward through the clouds and the gates of riffland with this brief collection of songs. That this was produced by Steve Albini is enough reason to buy it. That it will completely blow your mind just makes it that much more necessary.

8. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
Another album that I didn't like upon first listen but have grown to enjoy more and more. The absence of the frantic rhythm and panicky vocals bummed me out, but the richness of the sound and the lyrical themes of loss and worry clued me in to the direction of the record. I don't like this one as much as their previous album, and these songs did not work as well live as the older ones, but I definitely enjoyed this album throughout the year. This was one of those albums that began to creep into repeat status the longer I owned it.

9. Thurston Moore - Trees Outside the Academy
I love Sonic Youth. Lots of people know this. This album probably benefits from some of that nepotism, but it is still great. Thurston strips the sound down to acoustic guitar, violin and a bass/drums rhythm section and in doing so creates a record that is cohesive and complete. Where one worries that there is no rock, J Mascis pops up and shreds your face off. Mellow and awesome with a little glimpse into the maturing of a noise rock pioneer.

10. Liars - Liars
I have the other Liars albums and I will probably continue to buy each one that is released. Why? Because no two are similar. This album has Liars as the fractured and misinformed rock band doing their damnedest to make rock n' roll with broken instruments, a Tandy 286 laptop and the studio intern running the boards. How does it sound? Awesome. Totally wrong as in completely rad.

The Top 10 Shows I Attended In The Year 2007 (With Commentary)

2007-12-28T15:17:00.000-08:00

I must begin by noting that I did not film any of the following videos, for better or for worse. I did my best (searching youtube) to find videos from each show and I found it surprisingly easy. Much easier, in fact, than simply finding pictures. All this to say, these videos are here to give you a glimpse of the show and to spruce up my blog so as give it the appearance of professional journalism. So there you go! Enjoy.

1. Jens Lekman @ Troubadour
This young Swede has popped up on many a year end list and while I enjoy being a cynic, I can't help but include him in this one as well. Everything about this show from the impeccable set-list to the band's saintly white uniforms was perfect. Jenses's abilities as a singer and as a performer had both me and Jen (not to be confused with Jens) enraptured from the first sampled beat. Varying the songs from pop dance numbers to near silently whispered ballads, Jens kept the sold out crowd begging for more. I have never heard such a consistent, deafening standing (as some people, nay, wusses, did have seats) ovation. For the third encore, Jens played a solo rendition of "You Can Call Me Al". Although he informed us that he would omit the chorus because it was far too silly, he eventually conceded and invited us all to sing along. This was one of those shows that you have to leave a party to go to because you already bought tickets three months ago and although I had drank many a beer, run a 9 mile race earlier that day and practically fell asleep on Jen's (again, not to be confused with Jens) shoulder in a booth in the upstairs bar, I had one of the best concert going experiences in recent memory.

2. OM/Earthless @ The Echo
When we (Darren, Matt and Sam Staley, myself) arrived at the Echo a band consisting of a drummer (or maybe a keyboardist?) and a dude spasmodically whipping magnetic tape connected to a large machine were making exactly the type of noise you would expect from that kind of line-up. Not knowing what to make of this, we opted to hang out on the patio and drink some more beer. Earthless took the stage next and played one giant non-stop psychedelic power-trio jam at breakneck speed for the next 45 minutes. The sheer endurance of each member was mind-blowing. Total cosmic face-shredding bliss. Om hit the stage rather inauspiciously, that is if you disregarded the giant wall of cabinets and custom designed amps looming behind them. The set began with the slow and soft meditation of "At Giza" and the crowd, myself included, was lulled into a trance by Al's rhythmic chanting and Chris's gentle waves of percussion. However, just as I was drifting off toward standing slumber 10 minutes into the song, the aforementioned wall of amplification came alive, obliterating the calm. Om proceeded to play all of Variations on a Theme, Conference of the Birds and their sides of the split singles with Current 93 and Six Organs of Admittance. In the end (which was a long time coming) my eardrums and brain cells were demolished.

3. Thurston Moore @ Echoplex
What should one expect when Thurston Moore tours behind an album of acoustic guitar noodling and violin accompaniment? Super-loud jamming apparently. Thurston played acoustic guitar and was joined by Steve Shelley on drums, Samara Lubelski on violin and a dude on acoustic guitar and a dude on bass (sorry, I didn't catch their names). They ran through the Trees Outside the Academy tracks with a couple of instrumental jams thrown in for fun and awesomeness. I initially feared that this show would consist of people sitting in folding chairs attempting to finger-pick a new page out of the super-lame freak-folk book. This couldn't have been farther from reality. The dual acoustic guitars were amplified into oblivion and the songs off of this mellow and gentle album were given new significance as each exploded into life one after the other. Thurston, not able to be separated from his beloved Jazzmaster, played an extended encore of songs off of Psychic Hearts to end the night on a note of 90's awesomeness, proving that although he is approaching 50, he is still Thurston Moore and all that that implies.

4. Cheap Trick et al. @ Hollywood Bowl
2007 being the 40th anniversary of the release of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, the Hollywood Bowl hosted an "all-star" tribute to the album and Cheap Trick along with the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra served as the house band. Jen and I bought tickets on a whim thinking it would be a fun date and we ended up having an awesome time. Although many of the "special guests" were very disappointing (Joan Osborne?!) Cheap Trick made the night. The burden of any true fan of music is having missed seeing all the greats from the past (Beatles, Hendrix, Nirvana) and while this show was no substitute, it was a great taste of some of the best music ever recorded. A particular highlight was Al Jourgenson (of Ministry, a regrettable adolescent personal favorite) playing "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" in full metal style, totally pissing off everyone sitting around us. All in all, an inconsistent night showcasing some amazing music.

5. Magik Markers @ Spaceland
I am often amazed at which shows I attend at good old Spaceland are packed and which shows are not. I was certain that this show would be wall to wall hipsters and I couldn't believe how empty the place was. Everyone needs to see this band live. I had read about the reputation of often violent and confrontational performances that Magik Markers had built up over the past 5 or so years and although they seem to have mellowed out (considerably by some accounts) their music retained both of these elements. Having shifted from the guitar, bass and drum line-up of previous tours, the band was Pete Nolan on drums, Elisa Ambrogio on guitar and a girl (whose name I regrettably cannot seem to locate) on keyboard. The sound was all drum and guitar violence with the keyboard functioning ingeniously as the foundation. Actually, the thick noise owed a lot to the subliminal waves of the keys. This sparse arrangement created an overall sound of chaos with Elisa's free-form guitar tearing up each number. Pete's drumming was loose and rhythmic, displaying great proficiency superseded by a total disregard for all rules regarding song structure and traditional percussion. Pete would vacillate between octopus-armed multitasking and minimalist texturing with occasional straight-ahead rocking thrown in between. The percussion was so infectious that Jen was inspired to loudly complain (to me, as well as anyone else who could hear, which probably included the band) "Why isn't anyone moving?! That's what drums are for!" But of course, no Magik Markers show review would be complete without an attempt to translate Elisa's stage presence/performance/guitar-murder into witty prose. Where Pete demonstrates skill restrained, Elisa shows frightening, unbridled passion forced upon her guitar without a hint of technical proficiency. The violent noise that she produced through her repeated attacks coalesced with the desperate anger in her voice. The two sounds combined with the confrontational one-foot-forward stance and violent brandishing of her guitar created a palpable sense of imminent break-down/collapse/destruction/apocalypse. While I was initially afraid of the lacerations I would receive from the headstock of Elisa's guitar, I don't feel anything was sacrificed by her choosing to remain on stage.

6. No Age/Mika Miko/Black Dice @ Echoplex
The line-up for this show went more like Mika Miko/No Age/Black Dice with Black Dice in the headlining spot. Matt Pool and I came to see No Age and I also had an interest in seeing Black Dice based on a couple of their older albums. Mika Miko and No Age are LA bands and their grass roots brought out a rabid crowd. After spending almost all of 2007 paying to see bands from other states (nice states that I would enjoy living in, it should be noted) I was very excited to see some local bands that are proud to be from LA. That being said, Mika Miko hit the stage and their fans immediately went ape poopy (this is a family blog). The sound was not remarkable; four-on-the-floor rockers with frantic call/response, hissyfit vocals. What was remarkable was their stage presence and the connection they made with the audience. This wasn't reinventing the wheel, it was making the wheel more awesome. The smiles and giggles, adhd dance moves, chit-chat and inside jokes all clued me in to what their fans already knew. This was good times; 2007 punk rock, LA style. No Age took off about a half hour later and rapidly laid waste to the place. Dean Spunt and Randy Randall were formerly in a band called Wives which Jen and I saw open for Dinosaur Jr in 2004. Wives was good, but they let their punk get in the way of their rock. I never bought their album, but there is no way it can even be close to as good as their current incarnation. Dean's on drums/vocals and Randy's on guitar. While I was unable to hear the vocals, being smashed against the front of the stage and all, it didn't matter. The cacophony created by these two instruments was enough to make me (and Matt) completely lose our stuff (family blog, remember?). Dean's drumming served as texture to the layered guitar lines that Randy repeatedly built up and subsequently demolished. The build-up and release that occurred in each of their three-minutes-or-less songs would have taken lesser bands quadruple lps to create. The deafening sound at the peak of each guitar riff was enough to split concrete and the panic that built with the increasing frenzy of Dean's drumming caused even the most stoic of hipsters to convulse in fits of ecstasy. Actually, truth be told, I have no idea how this affected the other audience members. I was to busy flipping out to notice. I just can't imagine anyone in the room during the No Age set keeping their minds or bodies under control. Matt and I were amazed and inspired and awesomified to the max; completely spread savaged. Totally rad. As for Black Dice, they pulled off a great job of looking like they were totally bored, creating deafening sheets of white noise that morphed into what some could call "beats" while clicking around on their laptops. I like their records, but I was completely bored with their set. Maybe it's hard for NYC uber-hipsters to follow killer LA bands in LA. Oh well.

7. Band of Horses @ Amoeba
Jen and I saw Band of Horses 4 times this past year. How do you pick a best show? I don't really know. Each one had it's strong points. They played different sets, they were in different venues, they played with different bands (Decemberists, Dinosaur Jr, Drones). All of these things considered, this free (definite bonus) show was my favorite. Why? Well, one of the best things about a Band of Horses show is getting the chance to see a group of dudes playing live that really enjoy playing live. Despite the fact that the band's catalog would reasonably lead one to imagine their set to be mellow and plaintive with a single tear trickling down Ben Bridwell's cheek as he strums the last chord of another of their countrified sad-sack indie rock songs, Band of Horses rock out and Ben gets down right stoked about playing. At Amoeba, Band of Horses made jokes, criticized their slow songs for being "boring" and had an all around good time rocking out for a very appreciative audience. Their songs didn't sound terribly different. They were simply augmented in that crucial but intangible way that all performances benefit from when the performers are enjoying it even more than the audience.

8. Dinosaur Jr/Awesome Color @ Troubadour

Most of the press concerning the newishly reformed Dinosaur Jr album released this year heaped praises upon it like syrup on waffles (sorry, it's now breakfast time). What was peculiar about these accolades was not their fervency (everyone loves Dinosaur Jr, right?) but their sentiment. The album was not being praised as a step forward, a step backward or even some fancy step sideways. It was praised for taking absolutely zero steps in any direction because they don't have to because they are Dinosaur Jr and because they rule. How did they sound live? Just like they should. Real real loud without any unnecessary talking but plenty of crucial rocking. I went to this show with Matt Pool and Ian Scott. It was great seeing Dinosaur Jr in such a small setting (I would later see them play at the Wiltern with the previously mentioned Band of Horses and it just wouldn't be quite the same). J set up in front of far too many amplifiers and played at full volume with only occasional stops to lazily mutter out a verse or two before recommencing his shredding. Lou played total high school punk rock bass, strumming it like a guitar, no fancy stuff, just holding it down while Murph broke into an instant sweat, pounding his kit with more intensity than anyone half his age. I know J looks like Gandalf now, but when he plays, I may as well be a freshman in high school listening to his ear-bleeding country on my headphones at lunch. As for Awesome Color, they totally rule. Full on, unrestricted jams without any pretension. Awesome Color make the kind of music that all the jerks forgot they should be making. They completely owned the stage and from their sound and the looks on their faces, they loved every minute of it. I did too.

9. sunn0)))/Earth @ El Rey
Just about everyone that I know has had to listen to me drone (ha ha ha, get it?) on and on about the awesomeness of sunn0))) live. Well, sorry. It's that awesome. Earth opened which I was very excited about. While I love the recent Earth releases and their development of the psychedelic/drone/doom/metal/country genre, I was pretty decently bored with their live set. The sound was spectacular but it could have been louder (in memory, that is) and there wasn't much to watch. Silly complaints, but I suppose I expected the legendary Earth to be more mind-blowing. I'll probably go see them again and in the meantime I will console myself by listening to their records. sunn0))) made their entrance by shutting off the house lights, drawing back the curtains and releasing a thick wall of fog from a stage lit from below by a single green light. The next epoch of time (1 hour? 2? 15?) found the hooded robed members of the band conjuring a deafening wall of droning guitar+vox+???. The sound was physically oppressive and mentally nullifying. There were no breaks during their set and one song could be discerned from another by only the most attentive of listeners. When all was said and done, the audience had been reduced to half its original size and those that remained, (myself, Matt Pool and Matt Staley included) were simultaneously exhausted and energized by the consciousness-melting display of light and sound that had just taken place. Good times.

10. Arcade Fire/LCD Soundsystem @ Hollywood Bowl
Last but certainly not least we have the Arcade Fire's return to the Hollywood Bowl. I have to say that I'm pretty bummed that (although they deserve it) the Arcade Fire made the jump from Troubadour to H-Bowl and apparently there they shall remain. Isn't there some sort of intermediate venue they could have played? Wiltern? Avalon? Greek? Anyhow, this doesn't really matter because I love the Bowl and all that it has to offer. We (Dan, Beth Anne, Jen and myself) sat in the cheap seats and despite the time of year (September=hot in LA) it was freezing cold. We warmed ourselves with our personal bottles of wine and sat back waiting for LCD to finish up. I must say that although I'm not a very big fan, James Murphy and co. put on a fantastic show. Yeah it sounded like Eno and VU and everyone else they sound like, but at least they ripped off the right people. Arcade Fire took the stage, which was strewn with all sorts of confusing decorations (from what I could tell that is) and began by running through a few numbers off Neon Bible. I like Neon Bible, but these songs didn't seem strong as live numbers at all. Jen and I were beginning to feel pretty disappointed when, like a ray of sunshine cutting through the cloudy sky, the band jumped into a string of tracks off Funeral. I don't remember which ones, so let's just say all of the neighborhood songs in order, ok? The change of mood in everyone from the band to the audience to me and Jen was instant. People were on their feet, dancing in the aisles and the band was running around stage smiling/grimacing along to each line/riff/violin solo. This energy lasted for the remainder of the set and the encore that followed. Although I have only been able to watch the Arcade Fire from approximately 1,000,000 feet away, they remain one of my favorite live acts. I just want to know why they won't do a multi-night residency in Los Angeles ala their shows in New York or Chicago or San Francisco or every other big city. LA is awesome.

So in conclusion, good times.

Blues...

2007-12-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

So I'm working past my (personal) deadline for application completion and I have a stack of short stories to grade and I have my evaluation by the principal of the school tomorrow. How am I preparing for this? Cha cha.

In all seriousness, I am prepared for all of the aforementioned events. I am primarily going to the Cha to celebrate a day of birth with Jen Giunta (sp?) and pour one out for Hammy.

Also, my 5th period class will no longer complete their warm-up writing assignments unless I play D.A.N.C.E. at least twice. Several students are working on their own moves for this song which I believe should be showcased at the end of the year talent show.

Additionally, I will be competing in a half-marathon this coming Saturday morning in my hometown of Irvine, California. I am excited and scared. A half-marathon is 13 miles.
Can I do this?
Yes I can.
But can I really?
Maybe.
Are you sure?
No.
Do you mean yes?
Yes.

I don't mean to signify, but...

2007-12-03T10:39:00.000-08:00

Rollerskating for Running

2007-11-26T21:02:00.000-08:00

So I realize that most everyone is no longer reading this. That's ok. I need to be gently re-introduced to the interwebs anyhow.

This Friday from 5:30 until 7:30, there will be a fund-raiser held at the Moonlight Rollerway in Glendale California for the Nightingale Middle School, Students Run LA club of which I am a part. We hang out with kids after school and run for many miles with them while carrying on conversations about life, love and middle school. All sorts of stuff they're interested in. It's really fun.

So, the cost is $12 and I have some tickets. I know it's a little expensive, but it's for a good cause and it includes your skate rentals. It does not include nachos or booze, which is a little sad.

Here's the website of the place.

Bodies of Water have jobs.

2007-11-24T11:55:00.000-08:00

Stereogum just did a pretty cool feature on our friends Bodies of Water. Apparently Stereogum are such big fans of BOW that they have to get all up in their business and bug them about their bill paying skills. It's fun to read and if you plumb the archives you'll find a surprisingly unsurprising amount of bands that are cool with members who are teachers. Teaching=street cred?

Here's where the feature is at supposubly.

No Age @ LA River

2007-11-24T11:49:00.000-08:00

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Totally wired, yeah!

2007-11-16T23:42:00.000-08:00

We are now in Big Bear. I'm one pocket shot in it and, true to life, I'm listening to Ben Bridwell tell me that the world is such a wonderful place. It's so amazing when everything lines up just so.

1. No Age
2. Out of the Silent Planet
3. Whiskey

100. Applications...

2007-06-06T18:55:00.000-07:00

So hey. It's Wednesday and that means margaritas. Usually. Ok so it hasn't happened in a while, but that doesn't mean I'm any less of a man (single tear).

Anyhow, this Friday is Jen's birthday. We'll be going out to a dinner we can't afford then we'll probably be going to Cha Cha or the Red Lion afterwards. As these places are public, all are welcome.

On a more private note, we will be having a much more exclusive party this Sunday at our house. If you know where that is, you may come. It will be approximately after church. Lunchish time. You can call for a more specific time. Or, you will probably receive an email about it. Anyways. It will be a bbq. It will be fun. It will also be Mike, Matt and Becca's birthday party, so you might receive four emails (depending on how much each of these people like you).

That's about all. I went to a mind numbing curriculum training today and the best part? I got a free fried chicken ceaser salad for lunch. Oh well. I only have 2 weeks left for this school year. I'm feeling irresponsible already.

All for now. I am glad there are no nude pics of me on the interweb.

2007-05-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

It's with a heavy heart that I post this. I am now in my classroom watching my third period class furiously type essays on laptop computers but my heart is elsewhere....

This past weekend Jen and I engaged in some major chilling at the Pool residence. We ate and drank and played and boated our collective guts out.

It was a sort of viking funeral weekend for their house. While we didn't burn the place to the ground, we did burn some stuff. Charcoal.... umm... candles? It was definitely to the max as the Pools are the best hosts and weekend companions one could hope for.

So here I sit, quietly shedding a tear for all the good times had in Big Bear. I wish they never had to end. Except I don't want to live there.

I need more coffee.

2007-05-15T21:43:00.000-07:00

Right now I have finished grades for the upcoming report card; I am enjoying the Russian River Brew Co. Damnation Golden Ale and I am listening to the Pipettes.

It's good times here. Really.

As a side note, does anyone want to go see the Pipettes at the Poopadour on the 11th of June? You would have to go with me and Jen. We would do our best to make it fun for you though. I'm going to buy tickets soon..... I think..... Maybe.....

July

2007-05-14T09:40:00.000-07:00

Just a couple of things that I'm extremely excited about and that I want to know if anyone else is extremely excited about.

1. sunn0))) + Earth @ the Casbah in San Diego July 2nd and a tba venue in Los Angeles July 3rd.

2. Smashing Pumpkins 8 night residency at the Fillmore in SF from the 22nd of July to the 1st of August.

Exciting no? A couple of long distance shows? Let's do it.

2007-05-10T10:24:00.000-07:00

So I have an agent now. Her name's Becca. Yeah.

Becca just got me some strange side work for a guy who needs music to play during a 7 day long photo shoot for Sara Lee.

Yes. That Sara Lee. Snack cakes and ball park hot dogs.

Why do they need my music selecting abilities? Aside from the fact that I rule at picking music (music that I like that is), this photo shoot is about the "Joy of Eating" (what ever happened to the Joy of Cooking? I'm not usually one to gripe about American eating habits, because you can do what you want, but it's strange that the creation of food has given way to the consumption of food. I agree with Jesse. Skippy bars are awesome.) and they need some music to get people pumped up so they can have their picture taken in the throes of joyous rapture that only gobbling down Sara Lee products can bring. How to select such a soundtrack..... a few Weird Al songs come to mind.....

So now, when you're perusing the most current issue of Rachel Ray Today or O (Oprah), you will probably begin to notice images of normal people, like you might see at work or in the store, driven mad with passion as they savor one of their favorite snack treats. Those people were listening to mixes that I made. Weird, right? I have no doubt that the snack cakes are the true cause of their euphoria, but I like to think that I will have helped.

2007-05-08T17:56:00.000-07:00

Right now LA is on fire. Griffith Park is literally on fire. I could see actual flames (not just smoke) and a helicopter dropping water very clearly as I drove home from work today. It's strange seeing something like this so close up. I really like Griffith Park and I hope that it's ok in the end.

This burnination was strangely timely as I just finished reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy. It was really good and there was a lot of burnination in it.

We (not me, but the students) are taking a week long standardized test. I finished the book while the kids were testing today and I would liken this to watching, say, It's a Wonderful Life on your ipod while you are waiting in line at the DMV. What does that mean? Yeah... er... nah. Ok.

In other news, I am now listening to "Oracle" by sunn0))) and it is pretty good. The first track is kind of a remix of the track they did for the Jukebox Buddha comp. They remixed it by having Joe Preston play jackhammer (yes, that kind of jackhammer) over the Buddha Box track and adding vocals. Oooo and drums. There's drums now too. I bet it's Atsuo doing the drumming. It sounds a lot like Etna off of Altar. Only with echo-y static. Yeah. It's good though. The jackhammer is much less jarring when it's used as a textural instrument rather than what it's creator intended it for.

On a final note, I would like to congratulate all those that are moving or marrying or birthing in the near future. Hooray! I wish very different things for all of you. Good things, but different for sure... Hooray!

Tuesssssday

2007-02-06T14:01:00.000-08:00

So does anyone who may read this want to go to Cha Cha tonight? I sure do. We should go. You and us. The Pattersons and you. We should go around 7:30 or 8.

I feel that my listening update thingy is going to be consistently erroneous because I am constantly listening to different stuff. For example, while I have occasionally been listening to Michio Kurihara's Sunset Notes, I am currently listening to Boris and Merzbow's Sunbakedsnowcave. Which is long. Real long. And slow. I would like someone (matt) to write an hour long fast song. Real long and real fast. So fast you'll expire from exhaustion once you've finished playing it. Something to speed along the freeway at 3am to.

My school has entered its second semester this week which is glorious. While it is daunting to think that I will have to be teaching these students for as long as I already have, I now have the end in sight and the end is full of beers and surfing.

So let's go to Cha Cha and talk about it. It's going to be great.

testing

2007-01-30T19:43:00.000-08:00

more to follow...

Wupatki

2006-12-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

Here's Jen,

and here's me. We're in Arizona at a pueblo called Wupatki. They have a hole in the ground that constantly blows cold air. Guess what it's called.

It's called a blowhole. Get it. Yeah. They don't know what it did. It's located about 50 yards from any of the buildings so my air conditioning hypothesis was shattered. Maybe they used it as a blowdryer. Or to scatter confetti during parades. Or maybe they used as a point of inspiration for strangely posed pictures. Ah, the mysteries of life.

Wincing this album away.

2006-11-23T11:54:00.000-08:00

Now, don't get me wrong. I will probably listen to this album approximately 5 times this weekend (Jen and I are traveling to Arizona) and I won't be upset about it. However, this album creates one of those weird moments you have with a band you like a lot. There's nothing offensive. There's no strangely misguided deviation from the original sound. Basically, it sounds like it is supposed to. It's just a little bit boring. The first Shins album was all creepy and dark. Behind the 60s pop melodies there lay something misanthropic and sinister. A small misanthrope, but a misanthrope nonetheless. On the second shins album the sun breaks through the clouds and there is joy throughout the land. Everyone is happy, especially the slide guitar player. This album is somewhere in between. Jen pointed out that it sounds fuller. There are more layers and lush strings and horns. It also appears that their keyboard player saved up some cash and bought a new keyboard. These things are good, but they don't add up to anything grandiose. It's 1/2 DIY, 1/2 huge. Lyrics wise, there are the same word games, but these don't seem as impressive as they once did. The witty rhymes may tickle your ear, but they don't really make you think.

As I write this, I realize that some of the criticism I am laying down would be an apt description of many bands that I champion. Hmmmm..... anyhow. The jury is still out I suppose.

thanksgiving eve

2006-11-22T21:05:00.000-08:00

So anyone doing anything tonight? Just asking. Here's a picture that represents what's going on this evening at the casa de Patterson:

Isn't it weird how there are all these weird variations on goats, sheep and cows? I think it's weird. In a good way.

satanoscillatemymetallicsonatas

2006-11-01T18:04:00.000-08:00

So, not to set some strange precedent for writing on this thing, but a strange thing happened to me after work today. Before I tell you, let me back up.

The other night, I thought to myself, "Are there any good cooking show podcasts that I am not currently subscribing to?" I did the only normal thing I could think of and grabbed my handy LAUSD laptop and logged in to the itunes store. I had done this earlier in the day and I was really surprised to see that there were a large number of completely different albums being featured.

"Different how?" you ask? Well, their most distinguishing characteristic was their Japanese origin. I figured I had somehow done something wrong, and since I could still read the word "podcast" (and not much else), I clicked onward. To my horror, all of the podcasts were in Japanese as well....

What did I do?

I subscribed to one. To my new horror, I was not allowed to do this and was promptly redirected to the US itunes store.

"Since that is not that cool of a story, what happened today to cause you to tell that not so cool story?", you ask? Today I received a large package from the super cool and nice (I'm assuming) folks at Southern Lord records. The package contained the following: 4 cds, 4 Lps and one t-shirt. I was very excited. The cd I was most excited about was the new collaborative album by SunnO))) and Boris, two of my favorite bands recently. I was particularly excited about this cd because it contains a second cd that has a song I have yet to hear on it. I promptly place (insert, really) this cd into my aforementioned laptop.

itunes registers this cd as the audio accompaniment to the 8th grade literature anthology that I use in my classroom. More specifically, The Diary of Anne Frank, Act 1. Strange. So I take the cd out and try again. Same. I do the sensible thing and use the "advanced" tab on the tool bar to search the CDDB for the correct track names.

Right now, you're wondering why I am still writing and not checking the pasta water that is surely boiling in my kitchen. Remember the not so cool story I told earlier? itunes has decided to identify this cd as some Japanese cd using Japanese characters. itunes will not change it's mind either.

My question is simple. Why is my itunes Japanese?

Oh, and lastly, that song that I was so excited to hear is called Her Lips Were Wet With Venom (satanoscillatemymetallicsonatas).

And it rules.

been such a long time.

2006-11-01T10:10:00.000-08:00

I realize that I haven't been writing anything for a long time. I mean anything. I don't think I've sent an email in about a month. I can't remember the last time I actually wrote manually. More than a list at least. Strange. I wonder what this may say about my life or personality. Whenever I get introspective like this, the results are unanimously negative. I suppose I am not actually searching for answers to my questions, but merely deflecting said questions in an attempt to appear thoughtful. It's great because now, having written this, I no longer have to think about this problem. I wrote something. Problem solved.

My students want to know how much money I make. Is it strange that I am embarrassed to tell 8th graders how little I make?

Hmmm....

2006-08-17T17:21:00.000-07:00

Jus in case you read this and didn already know....

you (who) in (is) re (mike jones?!) verse

2006-04-11T14:22:00.000-07:00

So I realize that I am no the first person to notice this, but I was still extremely pleased to discover it.

I have been doing my best to download the new Built to Spill album. Now, how did I go about this task? That is none of your effing business. The point is, I have been downloading it. So this morning Jen asks me to put some music on and I offer to her that we can listen to the new Built to Spill album. Jen is very excited by this and we begin listening. Now, although I've downloaded the entire album, I have, until this point, not listened to any of it.

So the album begins beautifully. Lots of overdriven guitar and driving percussion with just the right amount of bluesy Doug Martch noodling thrown in. Jen and I are enjoying cleaning our room to this. But it is not long before the confusion begins. Before the vocals drift in, there is a jarring shout from none other than Houston, TX rapper Mike Jones. Now, he doesn't shout anything profane, as you might expect. He simply poses the existential question that seems to plague him on so many of his own tracks, "Who is Mike Jones?!". Jen and I are rather familiar with this query, seeing as we have enjoyed many Mike Jones songs in the past several months, but we are surprised to find that Built to Spill are pondering the same question.

Jen assumes that I am joking around with her. I have downloaded some bogus, silly and not very well mixed mash up of BTS and MJ. I assure her that I haven't and that maybe it's just this first track. We skip to the next, a laid back, plaintive acoustic into electric build uppy number and after exactly 7 seconds, there it is again. "Who is Mike Jones?!" Strange, we think. We skip to the next track. At last, we hear a breathy, almost etheral Doug Martch sing "I would only be a liar...". Pretty, with an arpegiating guitar playing along. Finally a complete song. We can relax. NO! This time the bliss lasts for a mere 6 seconds before we are forced to contemplate the meaning of human life at the insistence of none other than MIKE JONES!

What the hell can this all mean? Here I have an amazing Built to Spill album (especially in comparison to the unbearably boring Ancient Melodies of the Future) and it is marred by the "I'm In Love With A Stripper" guy? All that I can conclude is that someone has finally finally figured out how (albeit, temporarily) to enforce copyright protection in a fair and resonable way. This album, while fully awesome, does get really old with good ol' Mike Jones shouting at you every thirty seconds. I will now be forced to buy the regular album. On vinyl, so that I will be cool of course.

If anyone wants to hear this let me know. It's worth a listen.

2006-03-21T08:12:00.000-08:00

Yay for Japan! I'm glad about this. Mostly because Sudahara Oh is such a fine sounding name. It's a good name to get your ass kicked by. And I'm Japanese. That's why. Yay!

2006-03-16T08:12:00.000-08:00

In response to my last post. I take it all back. The Korea vs. Mexico game was awesome. Some of the awesomeness must be attributed to beer, but still awesome. The stadium was totally packed and we were wedged between rabid Korean and Mexican fans. While I feared that the delicate balance of civility would be shattered at any moment, it remained. It was more polite than an Angels Dodgers game. The game was scoreless from the third inning on which meant that no one left early. I made myself hoarse shouting something that sounded like "Te-a-min-gu!", which I was told means Korea in Korean. It probably means "Eff Mexico".

Kormex!!

2006-03-10T19:01:00.000-08:00

So I realize that I love America. A lot. Like a lot a lot. At times, psychotically so. I think that I don't want to watch the Olympics because deep down I believe that the US has already won every event and there is no need to actually see any of them. I don't even check the medal count. It's something like US= 50,000; Others= 0, right?

All this to say, my naive patriotism has landed me in a shitty situation. I bought two tickets to the WBC on Sunday assuming that the US would be the pool B winner. How the fuck was I supposed to know that Canada of all places would beat us? Dammit!

So now, by some strange sacred astral geometry, I am stuck watching Mexico play Korea!

Let's see, US beats Mexico, Canada beats US, Mexico beats Canada, everyone beats South Africa. I don't get it. Shouldn't there be some sort of play off game between the US and Mexico? Crap.

All that to say, at least we'll be watching some great baseball played by two nationalities that, at least in my neighborhood, hate each other's guts.

2006-03-08T20:09:00.000-08:00

So for all of those who missed it, this recent trip to Primm was a great introduction to what I hope will become something of a tradition. I'll just say that I am an idiot with regards to gambling. No, I don't lose large amounts of money. I just lose it quickly. Frustrating.

Aside from my ill conceived gambling efforts, fun was had. There was the live music (think Living Colour [the metal band] and the Black Eyed Peas put together), $6.95 all you can eat shrimp, free Coors Light, indoor smoking, beautiful women, outlet shopping and Chinese Taipei kicking the crap out of China on the tv around 1 am. Truth be told, there is not a lot to do in Primm, but it was still relaxing.

I found it very difficult to return to work on Monday. I wasn't hung over. I wasn't still drunk. I was just sad. I've begun to feel quite helpless in my efforts to educate my students. They just don't seem to be keeping up. I don't get it.

Additionally I've got an assistant principal that is giving me a particularly difficult time. I despise this person. They are every terrible manager (including Jon from that barbecue restaurant) that I've ever had rolled (and rolled) into one.

On a lighter note, we've got tickets to the WBC on Sunday at 8pm. I'm stoked.

2006-02-24T13:53:00.000-08:00

So, I kind of feel that I am going on and on like a retired person about my voice problem. I will stop.

Right now I'm sitting in a training session for an intervention English language program. It's just about as fun as it sounds. On second thought, it is loads of relative fun. It's like this. I hate being here. The people are annoying and complain far too often. The activities that we participate in are tedious and the room is lit with flourescent lights and filled with recycled air. I find myself grinding my teeth. However, you must keep in mind that I did not have to go to work on Monday and seeing as this training is taking place Thursday and Friday, I'm looking at a two day work week. Work meaning actual time spent in the classroom. With students.

So I suppose I am enjoying myself. I've read some record reviews. I've readjusted my netflix queue. I've bought a song on itunes. I've posted some blogs/comments. All in all, something of a break in exile. Yes.

Additionally, it appears that a Hamilton appearance in Primm is a possibility. Intriguing and the makings of an epic weekend to be sure.

More talking.

2006-02-20T11:27:00.000-08:00

So my genius doctor's brilliant plan for my strained voice has proven to be completely worthless. I spent three days not speaking and drinking tons of water (often mixed with 1/2 tons of vodka) and at the end of it all, my voice is as bad as ever. It's kind of sad because I was really hoping that this would work. Now I'll be traveling back to the hospital and hopefully seeing someone with a slightly better idea.

One of the side effects of this experiment is a strange, lingering feeling of hesitation to answer any questions people ask me before about 8:30 in the morning. As the day goes on, I'll respond freely, but those first few questions make me nervous. I keep feeling like I'm not actually supposed to be talking and I panic a little as I try to figure out how to communicate without using words. It's kind of weird.

2006-02-12T18:24:00.000-08:00

So I haven't been talking for the past two days. As you can probably imagine, this has been driving me insane. The strange thing to me is noticing how often other people are talking. I have been watching some tv shows and I get really anxious watching the characters talk to each other. For some reason I seem to feel that they are also not allowed to talk and will be ruining their voices if they do. Weird.

Now I have occasionally slipped up. Jen will ask me a question and I will just go ahead and answer her. Not talking is a very conscious effort.

Yesterday we went to Ikea, which I would normally hate. I did hate Ikea, but recently a trip there has taken on new meaning. There is now a Chipotle restaurant near by. So I tested to see if I would rather eat a burrito than talk. Turns out while a burrito definitely improves the situation, it is definitely no substitute for talking. So I have discovered a scenario in which I would actually not rather be eating a burrito. It was a really good burrito too.

Last night we went out for Pat's birthday. It was lots of fun. We started at his house then hit the Red Lion, then crossed the street to Cha Cha. I found that since I wasn't spending my time talking, I had a lot more time to drink. And I got very drunk. Which was ok. It made my pantomimed communications all the more entertaining.

I'll talk to you later.

2006-02-08T19:29:00.000-08:00

So I have been having a problem for the last several months. For those of you reading this that may have had the rare opportunity to speak to me in person, you may be familiar with my malady. You may have confused it with a simple "coming of age" or a vain attempt to sound more masculine and tough. Perhaps you thought that I've simply been sick for several months.

None of these are true. I visited the doctor today, and it turns out, I just talk too g-d much. Apparently, I have been straining my vocal cords (chords?). How? I suppose through teaching. Now, before you jump to any conclusions, I don't yell at my students. I very calmly tell them that they should stop being absolute failures and start acting like an effing normal person!

Well, that's actually not true. I do occasionally have to raise my voice to communicate over the shouting of approximately 30 8th graders, though, and that has made my once beautiful voice strained and gravely. I am constantly hoarse and suffer from occasional total losses of voice altogether.

All this to say, I will be talking to you later. I have been ordered to stop speaking for 72 hours. I will begin this verbal fast on Saturday the 11th of February, ending it on Monday the 13th. How will I accomplish this task? Truthfully? I don't know. I like talking. A lot. I could be accused of having a rather big mouth. Somehow I must prevail.

If you're thinking of dropping me a line, go ahead and write an email or send a text message. I won't be calling you back. If you're having a party, don't be afraid to invite me and Jen. She can still talk and I can still drink up all the Henesey you got on your shelf.

2006-01-16T20:11:00.000-08:00

Wanna know what rules? Bloody marys.

They are delicious and nutritious and if you make them right, they will get you drunk. I am enjoying one right now. Nothing like a steak, some fried potatoes and a bloody mary with tons of tabasco sauce to start of a belated (thank you MLK) work week.

2006-01-10T18:29:00.000-08:00

So, like most people that I assume I know, I have prematurely procured (alliteration!) the new Belle and Sebastian album.

Like most haters out there, I don't want to be the guy who carries a torch for a band long after (or even one album, for that matter) they've stopped making quality albums. Because of their seemingly impecable track record, I have a strangely unreasonable feeling of trepidation whenever I approach a new B&S album. I think it's a lingering feeling of disappointment left over from the deplorably Cat Stevens influenced "I'm Waking Up To Us" single/ep thing.

All that being said (and there's really not much more to say afterward), this new album kills. I'm serious. Nary a disappointing track to be found. It seems that album by album, B&S have only grown more formidible in their hook writing prowess. Jen described this album (oh, it's called The Life Pursuit by the way) as really bee boppy, which I don't really understand. Not from the point of a musical historian purist, but because I don't hear any real bops on it. Just a lot of extremely proficiently written, ass kicking pop music. There's even a rather wailing guitar solo.

How do they do this? I really don't know. They aren't forging new territory in a trendy new genre (re: doom/drone metal, post-post rock, brazilian new wave) but they seem to very happily and cleverly and tenderly and affectionately and sensitively and boistorously and jubiliantly and plaintivly and sexily destroy any record that gets into your collection.

As a recap, here's what your getting:
A B&S record.
Happiness

I guess it will be arriving in February with some sort of limited edition CD/DVD combo or 2LP or, for all of you who like to sleep on obviously amazing albums, the regular CD format.

Get it. They deserve yr money. And they're playing at the Wiltern some time soon. Go to that too.

2006-01-09T21:23:00.000-08:00

So I know everyone has been sick this past month, but has anyone been excessively itchy? I sure have. I don't mean anything inappropriate. No private itching. Just itchy all over. My neck, arms, eyes, legs, feet, head. It's a little disconcerting.

Also. Despite the negative review of our frontman, rocker Jesse Gloyd, I thouroughly enjoyed our show in Fullerton and am looking extremely forward to our upcoming show this Sunday at the Mint here in LA. I can't effing wait. It will all kinds of rule.

Sickneeesssss...brah.

2005-12-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

So Jen and I are both sick. I would definitely rather be eating a burrito than be sick.

Does no one have an opinion on a pizza burrito? I'm going to open a pizza restaurant that serves no actual pizzas, but pizza versions of everything else. Pizza bagels, pizza dogs, pizza burgers, pizza burritos, pizza tortas, pizza tacos, pizza sushi, pizza stew, pizza meatloaf sandwiches, chicken fried pizza and eggs, pizza taquitos, pizza hot pockets, pizza casarole, pizza on a stick (or pizza corn dog), pizza falafles and of course pizzones. Pizza calzones. Man will you be sorry that I started this super famously popular restaurant and you can't even get a table cause of all the people that believe in my ideas. That will be the day. Yes. That day. You know.

Pizza Burrito?

2005-12-13T16:50:00.000-08:00

I am wasting time right now. Actually, that's a half truth. I feel like I am wasting time right now. I am sitting in a cubicle infested office waiting for someone to tell me that I can go home. The table that I am writing on is littered with the remains of a snowman building project (I assume that today is some sort of "take your kid to work day" day). The air conditioning, while keeping the room at a comfortably neutral temperature, is wheezing like the cabin pressure of a 747. You know, that sound you hear when you first get on a plane and you think, Damn, I will never be able to ignore this whistling, breathing, annoying sound, but then you have a few screwdrivers topped off with a bottle of Uncle Carlo Chard and you totally pass right out with your headphones supplying your dreams with the dialog from "Monster In Law". That's what it sounds like.

Hey, maybe it's white noise. I don't know. But I can't hear much conversation. Which is a plus. Ok.

I would so rather be eating a burrito. Would anyone be opposed to a pizza burrito? I mean, meatball subs are pretty much pizza sandwiches, right? And everyone loves pepperoni hot pockets. What about pizza bagels? Awesome of course. And pizza taquitos from 711? That's right. They are awesome. Pizza dogs are awesome too. Pizza burritos are the next step. Take this step with me.

Clarification

2005-11-23T18:36:00.000-08:00

Just the other day, Jen and I made the choice to spend an entire day watching TV shows on the computer. When I say that this was a choice that was made, what I really mean is that we felt too crappy to get off the couch. So there we sat. Or rather lay. Not doing too much. Enjoying Jason Bateman's charmingly despondent yet biting wit as we careened our way through the last disc of the second season of Arrested Development.
Around lunch time, Jen made a strangely articulate request for bean and cheese burritos. The task of attaining these burritos fell on me because I had left less of my brain at Kyle's house the night before. I told Jen that I would gladly get her these burritos. Like her, I'd have rather been eating a burrito.
Now the big dilema. Do I drive the mile to Taco Bell or the 4 miles to Del Taco. While this may not seem like a difficult choice to some, you must remember that I was feeling a bit sluggish and I was leaving behind my immobile wife. Speed was more of a consideration than usual. With all that in mind, I chose Taco Bell.
What the hell is wrong with Taco Bell?!
I will tell you.
Pepsi owns Taco Bell (notice that it's the only fast food place that insists on punishing it's customers with Pepsi).
Taco Bell is to Del Taco what Pepsi is to Coke. The over eager, hyperactive, pooka shell necklace and way too much gel wearing, pudgy little brother. Everything that Taco Bell serves has some sort of sauce in it to make it seem more....I don't know. Shitty. I think that's the word.
Anyhow. After devouring these burritos (how do you screw up a b&c burrito?), Jen and I decided that we wouldn't, in fact, rather be eating a burrito. At least not one from Taco Bell.

Rosh Hashanah

2005-10-04T20:09:00.000-07:00

So today is Rosh Hashanah and for myself, and others employed by the Los Angeles Unified School District, this means a day off of work!

I know what you're thinking. Patterson's not a Jewish name. Perhaps you're thinking, "I didn't realize that so many of the Lord's Chosen People worked for the Los Angeles Unified School District." And I'm sure some haters out there are thinking "Patterson's selling out just to get a day off. What a seller." While there may be truth to some of these, I assure you, Patterson is not a Jewish name.

To celebrate Rosh Hashanah (I looked up the spelling in the dictionary) I spent the day making phone calls to various financial institutions regarding various accounts that Jen and I hold. For a little excitement I traveled to the Best Buy in Burbank to trade in a derelict printer that I discovered on the curb in front of my house. While I wasn't able to do this due to my lack of a power cable (I was told that I would only get $1 for the trade anyhow), I was able to visit a Mc Donalds and use some recently received coupons to buy my lunch. I received these coupons as a result of a complaint I filed with the Mc Donalds corporation. What, you may ask, do I have to complain to Mc Donalds about? A couple of weeks ago I was feeling rather hungry leading up to my school's annual open house celebration. I drove a few blocks down Figueroa to the Mc Donalds on Avenue 28. Now, because the Patteren is on a budget, I figured I would only order a double cheeseburger and a Mc Chicken sandwhich. Not a fancy order by any means, but my perfered dinner none the less. Apparently the employees at this particular Mc Donalds have a difficult time discerning between a chicken patty and a hamburger patty. Additionally, it would appear that their training did not include a course on the difference between a cheeseburger and a double cheeseburger.

Sad to say, by the time I realized the short comings of these noble members of the fast food industry, it was too late. My Mc Chicken sandwhich consisted of a bun, lettuce, mayo and a tiny hamburger patty. My double cheeseburger, while containing an ample supply of cheese, was lacking in patties (1 not the recommended 2). While I don't really consider myself an instigator, I definitely felt that this deserved a complaint. And so, to make a long, and slightly inconsequential, story short, I complained, earning me 2 free large sandwhiches at any Mc Donalds in this country. Pretty sweet if you ask me.

While this particular post doesn't reference eating burritos, I feel that my preference for eating a burrito instead of going to Best Buy, Mc Donalds, work, eating Mc Donalds, complaining, open house celebrations or calling various financial instutions should already be understood by those who know the Patterjen.

I'd rather be eating a burrito.

2005-02-13T14:27:00.000-08:00

How many times can you honestly say that you wouldn't rather be eating a burrito than be doing whatever it is you're doing. I'd venture to say 1 out of hundred times a day. I know that's how I feel. I am afraid that rating all of the minutes of my day on the basis of how they compare to me eating a burrito will end up being very depressing. I mean think about it. Sitting in traffic. Getting a key made. Buying stamps. Sitting at work. Eating any number of things that are not a burrito. These are the activities that make up a normal day, and just thinking about how much they could be improved with the simple addition of me (insert yourself here) eating a burrito makes me wonder if I'm really living life to it's fullest. Burrito fullest. Chew on that. Unless you'd rather be chewing on a burrito.
Mmmm...